I woke up as a Dr. this morning for the first time. It has left me contemplative and grateful. Not quite celebratory maybe that will come with the graduation ceremony in coming weeks. I can’t quite explain how it feels to achieve a goal I have had for over 40 years. As many of you know I am a crier and this is no exception. Mostly happy tears but some sad ones are mixed in. Perhaps some sadness I don’t have a life partner to celebrate with and definitely some urgency to put all the learning to good use in the years I have left.
The next question after I tell people I have earned my doctorate is “what are your plans now”? My answer is, Well I am going to do even more of the same. I tried to explain this to someone at a gathering just the other day. It isn’t exciting or sexy enough to say I am going to do more of what I already do. But the truth is I love what I do and I like the trajectory my life is on now.
While the goal to earn my doctorate has been around forty years, the motivation behind it has changed a few times. Early on I think my motivation was to prove myself, and to tell the world and my family, I am capable and worthy in spite of any of my life’s circumstances. Later as I became more successful the motivation came from a desire to earn yet another credential to cure my feelings of imposter syndrome and insecurity. Finally it became a calling. Gone was the need to prove anything. It was replaced with a desire to learn and apply, to grow, and to surrender to God’s plan.
I don’t know all of what He has in store for me but I know I have a lot more to learn, to give and to accomplish with His guidance and direction. ❤