I have always been a planner. I love to plan! But I had lost some of my optimism the last few years and planning has seemed more like a plea or desperate fight for survival rather than my usual fun activity.
This year planning has been an all time new experience! So many variables in my life have changed. For the first time, in maybe ever, I found myself creating a plan without worrying about who I needed to please but focused on what my true heart’s desire is. At first, it felt uncomfortable and I really struggled with it. I usually dedicate the week between Christmas and New Years for this activity but I was struggling. I mulled things over, pondered, questioned, brainstormed, mind mapped, prayed, and followed a great podcast series on The Brendon Show called #transformationweek. Eventually, I figured it out! 🙂
2018 In Summary
I started my review by summarizing the previous year. Last year I tried something new. At the end of every week I assigned a happiness score.
It was nice to see, as I moved to the end of the year, my scores were trending up. The other thing I noticed was my lows didn’t go as low and my recovery from a low was faster. My theme word I had selected for 2018 was AUTHENTICITY. I have heard, the more consistent you are in following your core values and being your authentic self, you feel less stress and anxiety. I liked seeing that as I worked hard to be more authentic my scores improved, even with the challenges and losses that hit me during the year. I truly feel my word choice was inspired and helped me navigate some of the most challenging experiences of my life. Some of these experiences have dramatically shifted my views on my career, my life, and what’s important. Take achievement for example. I have always been achievement oriented and still am but my motivation or “come from” has evolved over the years.
- As a child, achieving things was a means of trying to ensure I was valued, safe and loved.
- As a young adult, achieving things was a means to prove to the world I turned out okay in spite of my circumstances.
- As a wife and mother, achievement was focused on getting my husband’s love and approval.
- In the last several years, as my kids grew up and my marriage was shaky, I began to lose hope. Desperate for validation and not getting my needs met, I grew cynical about achievement and started to view it as a superficial and self gratifying endeavor.
- Today, I have shifted to a new place. I am back to loving and seeing the value of achievement. But my motivation or my “come from” is vastly different. Achievement is focused on pushing me to be my best, not for accolades or to please others, but to grow, to be my authentic self and strive to fulfill my purpose and God’s plan for me.
2019 Plan for Achievement
This new phase of life and shift in my belief system didn’t come easy. I had to break the deeply entrenched idea that my worth is solely based on what I do for others. It has been a gripping belief system that honestly letting go of was one of the most frightening things I have done in life so far.
2019 means living life in a way I never have before. My word for 2019 is POSITIVITY. I will tackle each hard thing with hope and light, and continue to find positive ways to build healthy relationships with my Heavenly Father, myself, my family, my friends and my associates. Every day I will gently alter a bad habit or limiting belief to empower me and serve others, not to prove my worth or get my sense of value, but to truly become my best self as a child of God working to accomplish what I was sent here to do. I have a renewed foundation of strength and courage. I am excited to try, to achieve, to dream BIG, and to put my authentic self out in the world. I will become better, stronger, healthier, kinder, and wiser. I will be an influence for good in a loving and positive way working toward my dreams and life’s purpose. Bring on 2019!